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So if you haven't already heard, Punxsutawney Phil peered from his hole this morning for the 125th time to give us a weather report: no shadow, apparently no more winter! Which, for me, in San Francisco with a temperature in the mid-60's today might be believable, but weather reports showing blizzard conditions across the country might cause one to doubt the famous groundhog?
Groundhog Day
The Washington Post reported that the Groundhog is only right about 39% of the time (doesn't simply flipping a quarter get better odds?) so I won't be waxing eloquent about weather and predictions today. What does strike me about friendships on this celebrated day comes not from history, but from Hollywood.
Bill Murray, in the 1993 movie, Groundhog Day, is a reporter assigned to covering the annual event, much to his disdain. You'll remember that the plot is then built around the fact that this least favorite day of his ends up repeating the next day, showing Murray never progressing past February 2.
You've heard the saying "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Well in this case, even as he tried different things (hedonism, suicide, stealing, learning secrets) he continued to get the same results-- he kept waking up to live the same day again. And again. And again.
Stuck in a Pattern?
We laugh, but we can relate.
We know the feeling of wanting more money, but not necessarily knowing what to do about it. We know the desire of wanting to be in better shape this time next year, only to wake up then in the same place as now. And, we know that as much as we can want great friendships, simply sitting at home in front of our TV doesn't make them happen.
It's easy, like Bill Murray, to want to believe that eventually we'll get different results. In his case he did some extreme things to try to change the end product, and for most of us, we'd certainly say we've put in some effort here and there. But, as we say in life coaching: "how's that serving you?" In other words, is the life you're living right now getting you the results you want? Is it working?
And if it's not, what are you willing to do differently? Are you willing to have a few friend dates with strangers? Are you willing to put in some hours being out-and-about when you'd rather be home? Are you willing to hire a baby-sitter? Are you willing to show up even when you're tired? Are you willing to share yourself? Are you willing to listen?
Because, if you're not willing, then you may not get the results you want?
It's always possible that a soul mate will walk up to your door, with no effort on your part, and announce herself as your new bestie. But, even if she did-- would you trust her? :) The truth is, it won't just happen to you. You may have to change life a bit to get the results you want.
Breaking the Pattern
In the movie, it actually wasn't until Murray began to worry less about getting to the next day and more about living the current day in the best way possible that he made way for a new future. He took the advice to improve himself: taking piano lessons, learning how to ice sculpt and taking a CPR class, which then led to him helping people, being interesting and getting involved in the community. Which, in typical Hollywood fashion helped the heroine to fall in love with him so that "tomorrow" could happen.
A predictable and cute little story. But what can I learn? What in my life isn't working relationally where I might want to see how I might improve myself so that I can show up more presently?
For me, it's coming up on my Annual Girlfriend Weekend next month (with friends spread across the country) and realizing that I feel so out of touch with them. Every year we hug good-bye and promise we'll stay in better touch throughout the year and yet here I am a month from our next get-together feeling quite disconnected. Funny how just saying we wanted to stay in touch didn't alter the results. :(
What is it for you? What do you keep hoping will change? What results do you keep getting? What are you willing to do about it?
Now, if you don't mind, I think I am going to go call one of those girlfriends and wish her a Happy Groundhog Day!
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 | | Shasta Nelson founded GirlFriendCircles.com as a way to help introduce amazing women to potential girlfriends. Passionate about women, our relationships and our value to community, she’s inviting women to find those friends online, but make sure to take them offline to a cup of coffee too! |
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