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When Liz Gilbert's book, Eat. Pray. Love., came out several years ago, I read it alone, underlining statements that spoke to me. Last night, in watching the newly released movie, starring Julia Roberts, I sat with four girlfriends in a theater.
The medium and context changed everything: I saw what I missed the first time.
Searching for Her Word
When I embarked on the story through written words on a page, I saw Gilbert "in search of my word." A woman, in transition, trying to figure out how to define herself.
So many women who join GirlFriendCircles are in transition. Which means something feels like it just ended in your life or that something new just started in your life. Either way, you're becoming. You're anticipating the next chapter of your life, wondering like Gilbert, "what is my word?"
What defines me? Who am I? Am I a mother? A wife? My job? Am I chosen? Am I wanted? Am I enough? Am I more than what others think of me?
Which certainly feels like a private journey.
Living Her Word
But something about witnessing the same story, as actions on a screen, surrounded by girlfriends, I saw something more. In the book, I read past all the names of people, seeing them as mere extra's in her self-growth story.
But as I watched the movie, it reminded me clearly the role that others had in her journey. I watched all the characters in the movie impact her and love her along the way. The power of her temporary communities was not to be missed this time as the screenplay had to tangibly show us the internal journey.
They didn't invent a single character, they simply reminded me that they were there. What had been dialogue on a page became a real conversation with a real person.
Every single country was more about the people she interacted with than it was about the pizza, meditation or beauty. It wasn't the eating, praying or loving alone that changed her. Indeed she did none of those words alone. All those ever-transforming verbs were experienced with others. In community. They showed her how. They did it with her.
Indeed, if I go back to see the statements I underlined in the book long ago, there are few of them that she came up with in a vacuum. It was in loving others that she saw her patterns. It was in watching others enjoy life that she could step into it. It was in exposing herself to the spirituality of others that she found her own. It was in conversations that she was challenged beyond her own paradigm. It was in helping others that she felt fulfilled. It was in accepting invitations that she made friends and fell in love. Others played a massive role that I missed when it was simply her voice in my book.
Finding Her Word
A line that was repeated in the movie, was "we must take care of our families where-ever we find them." And find them she did. In every country. In a matter of months. Knowing she would soon be leaving, she still bonded and connected. In every place of growth. In every step of her journey.
The book had certainly revealed her chosen word-- but it was ink on a page. The movie, showcasing what I had clearly overlooked, made me watch her word lived out, helped me see her experience of it. Ink was put into action.
She could have chosen any title or word, any noun or adjective. In any language. So with no limits, the word that she says captures her is an Italian verb: Attraversiamo. It means "Let's cross over."
She chose a plural conjugation. A word that insists there is more than only me on this journey.
I'm reminded how easy it can be to overlook the significance of an "us" in our "solo" journeys. We never need to go it alone, even when looking for ourselves.
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 | | Shasta Nelson founded GirlFriendCircles.com as a way to help introduce amazing women to potential girlfriends. Passionate about women, our relationships and our value to community, she’s inviting women to find those friends online, but make sure to take them offline to a cup of coffee too! |
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