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My husband and I started a non-traditional spiritual community a few years ago here in San Francisco committed to personal growth, relational health, compassion expansion and spiritual exploration. We don't define spirituality based on what one believes as much as on who one becomes. In other words, we ask various forms of the question: do you live your best version of you in a way that contributes to the lives of others?
The Five Essential Elements of Wellbeing
Well, I typically spend my Friday's focused on research and preparation for our Saturday morning discussions, but today, I simply had to log-on and share what I'm reading with you! Our current series is based on Gallup's latest research revealed in the book, Wellbeing: The Five Essential Elements. Fascinating!
So in a nutshell, research shows that there are five universal, interconnected elements that together reveal your overall well-being:
- Career Wellbeing (Do you like what you do every day?)
- Social Wellbeing (Do you like who you're doing life with?)
- Financial Wellbeing (Do you feel secure & know how to boost your financial experiences?)
- Physical Wellbeing (Do you have the energy to do what you want every day?)
- Community Wellbeing (Do you take pride in your community?)
Your Social Wellbeing Matters Big Time!
As you can guess, tomorrow we're talking about social wellbeing. While you have undoubtedly heard me quote all kinds of research about how important your circle of friends is to your life, the research just continues to inspire!
- You're Influenced by Entire Network. Our wellbeing is impacted by our entire social network. You are 6% more likely to be happy if your friend's friend's friend--count them, three degrees removed!-- is happy. The reverse is just as true.
- Friends Impact More Than money. Compare the above 6% increase to the 2% increase in happiness if your annual income goes up $10,000! "This led the study's authors to conclude that that the wellbeing of friends and relatives is a more effective predictor of happiness than earning more money."
- Your Friends Choices are Contagious.You are 61% more likely to smoke if you have a direct connection with a smoker and 57% more likely to become obese if one of your friends does.(Interestingly, if a sibling becomes obese then your odds go up only 40%, and if it's your spouse then 37%-- your friends are more of a determining factor!) Furthermore, if you have a best friend who follows a healthy diet then you are 5x as likely to have a healthy diet as well. In fact, there is more connection linking you to be influenced by her diet than the dietary habits of your parents and family history!
- Your Health Prevention is at Stake. People with few social connections are at twice the risk of dying from heart disease or of catching a common cold (even though they're arguably exposed to more germs!)
- Your Health Recovery is at Stake. One test showed that people with wounds on their arms took twice as long to heal if they reported hostility in their marriage! Think about how that impacts your recovery for an upcoming surgery or past injury.
- Proximity Matters. A friend who lives within a mile will have more influence on your wellbeing than friends across the country. (Why GFC advocates making local friends even though it's not as easy as picking up the phone to talk to your BFF in your hometown! It's worth it!)
- Friendships Especially Important in Aging Well. One study showed that in adults over the age of 50, that their memories declined at half the rate if they were socially active compared to those who were least social.
- You Need More than One BFF! Every additional close friendship adds to your wellbeing. "Our research has found that people who have at least three or four very close friendships are healthier, have higher welbeing, and are more engaged in their jobs."
How Much Socializing Time Do We Need?
And get this: it is not just that you need good friends. Not just that they need to live close by. Not just that they need to be happy and have positive habits. Not just that you need 3-4 of them. But... the data shows that to have a thriving day you need six hours of daily social time!
Six hours?!?!?! That even surprised me! Apparently regardless of personality types and other variables-- those who are thriving in life are reporting an average of six hours every day of connecting which can include: talking to friends, socializing at work, being on the phone, communicating on facebook, etc. Across the board, every hour of social connection added to your day increases your happiness almost 10%! (Isn't it ironic how easy it is to cancel on a friend when we've a bad day or skip out on socializing when we're depressed, when in actuality, that very act of connecting will raise our spirits?)
To Your Wellbeing!
I feel like I talk with a lot of women who either mistakenly think that friendship is the thing to cut when their lives get busy, or feel guilty for asking their husbands to watch the kids so they can go spend time with a girlfriend, or conclude that since friendships are not happening "naturally" in their lives that they somehow just need to learn to live without a circle of friends. Maybe you've been there before? Maybe you're there now? I hope this research reminds you that this isn't just a "nice to have" but one of the most significant things you can do for yourself. And your family. And your other friends. And once you get going, it's actually really fun!
I just wanted to jump into your inbox this evening and remind you that your willingness to engage, to meet new people, to initiate a follow up get-together, to schedule women into your life and to foster these friendships over time is proven to raise your wellbeing! :) And who among us doesn't need a little bit more of that at the end of a long week? To your happiness and health!
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* All research listed in this blog can be found in the chapter on Social Wellbeing in Gallup's latest book, Wellbeing by Tom Rath & Jim Harter. Purchasing their book provides a code for your access to take their Wellbeing Assessment.
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Recent Posts
 | | Shasta Nelson founded GirlFriendCircles.com as a way to help introduce amazing women to potential girlfriends. Passionate about women, our relationships and our value to community, she’s inviting women to find those friends online, but make sure to take them offline to a cup of coffee too! |
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