Top Ten Friendship Articles of 2011

In the spirit of celebrating another year lived and shared, I’m doing my first-ever Top Ten list. Here are the most read, popular blog posts from the last year:

1.   The Mistake that Cost me a New Friendship

This post re-proves that we all learn to love from the mistakes of others, mine included. It’s a lesson I still hold in my memory bank–how easy it is to not initiate from a place of personal insecurity.

2.  To the Oprah-Haters and Other Women Who Devalue

This posting inspired lots of comments as we all wrestled with our temptation to devalue others, hoping it makes us feel better about ourselves.  I come back to this theme often– trying to encourage us all to cheer for other women, that we might feel it for ourselves, too!

3.  Today is National Best Friend Day: How to Make a BFF

I share my Frientimacy Triangle with hopes of reminding everyone that Frientimacy (friendship intimacy) has to be developed, not discovered.

4.  5 Stages of a Friendship

We have a lot of language and understanding when it comes to the various stages of dating someone (i.e. the difference between “going on a date” vs. “we’re dating”), but we forget that a friendship has stages too!  Here I describe the five–from curiosity to frientimacy– I think are most helpful.

5.  Admitting We Need Friends

It’s easy to be in denial about our need for friends– too much pain and stigma in whispering the truth sometimes.  But hard to really do anything about it if you don’t start with the first step: admitting the need!

6.  Nothing Kills a Potential Friendship Faster

A romantic relationship would never get off the ground if the two of you went out for a date, then ended the evening saying “That was fun… we should do it again next month.” And yet we do that with potential friends all the time!  Give the gift of momentum to your friendships!

7.  Used-to-be-Friends or Still Friends?

This one struck a raw nerve with many of you.  Just because we have had good friends over the years that we could call if we needed to, doesn’t mean we have the good friends around us that we really need and want.

8.  Friendship Challenges that Come With Age

This post validates that indeed every decade brings its own challenges to our friend-making career. When I started (my women’s friendship matching site) three years ago I assumed it would be most popular with those in their 20’s and 30’s.  Who knew that the women who would love it the most would be our mothers and grandmothers? No matter our age– we need to keep replenishing our circle of friends!

9.  The Flywheel of Friendship

The toughest part of friendship is that we all crave the BFF who just knows us and makes it easy to connect, but we hate that there is a long road to that comfortableness!  This post will inspire and motivate you to keep putting in the work now.  It does pay-off and get easier!

10.  It’s Hard to Maintain Friendships Through Stress & Change

It’s so easy to withdraw from people when we’re tired and stressed.  These are some of the reasons it’s hard for me to engage, and some of the ways I do it because I know it’s good for me.

* And a bonus one!  This one was my personal favorite: My Prayer: Who I Want To Be

A huge thanks to all my members, readers of my blog, and comment-ers who have shared the journey!

May we continue in 2012 to honor all that is right with friendship, committing ourselves regularly to the practices of healthy personal development and relationship joy.


I’d be honored to have you share this list on Twitter or Facebook:

Top 10 posts of 2011 from Shasta’s Friendship Blog re: personal growth & relationship health by @girlfrndcircles.

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6 Responses to Top Ten Friendship Articles of 2011

  1. Rebecca Ferris says:

    I am very interested in your service, but I am a realist and want to know if there are any women in my area. Driving 50 miles just will not happen. Days get full and driving 50 miles for building a girlfriend relationship I can not see happening.

    I am a very fun and friendly woman but live in an area that the women have commuted and are too tired to do anything. I really would love some girlfriends.
    I hope you can help me.

    My zip code is 94551. I live in California east of San Francisco. Your “get-togethers” seem to always be far away.

    • ShastaGFC says:

      Rebecca– There are ConnectingCircles in the East Bay every month— most frequently in Oakland, Berkeley, Walnut Creek, Danville, Concord…. We match women up with no greater distance than 15 miles away. We never charge UNTIL we can match you. Plus you can set-up any event you want near you and it will invite the women in your area to any event you want to plan (a movie night? a dinner at a favorite restaurant?) or you can do searches and get together with any women you find in your area. We definitely want to make it as easy as possible for you. 🙂

      • Rebecca Ferris says:

        Would I just tell you and you would post it? And would I know who was coming?

        • ShastaGFC says:

          Rebecca– you can post any event you want to the calendar and you’d see who RSVP’d. Go to our web site at and enter your birthdate and zip code and it will lead you from there through the sign-up process. If we don’t have a lot of options near you– it will offer you a free membership. If we feel we have a lot of activity for your age group within 15 miles then it’s still only $29.95 for 6 months. A pretty good deal for potential friendship! Good luck!

  2. Rebecca Ferris says:

    I already did that and it says you do not have any people in my area.

    • ShastaGFC says:

      Okay then definitely join and it should be free and when we can match you up we will! 🙂 If you have any other questions you can write Maci at our customer service email– service@ Have a good weekend!