Reflections on My Katie Couric Interview

Four women who have made friends on GirlFriendCircles.com were interviewed, along with me, by Katie Couric nearly two weeks ago for a segment that aired TODAY, Tuesday, March 12, 2013 on ABC. Katieshot copy

A Behind-the-Scenes Look at What It's Like to Be on Katie Couric

If you're on my GirlFriendCircles newsletter list, you already saw my quick little video made a couple of days ago when I found out when this show was airing.  But if you missed it, I gave a little behind-the-scenes view at what it was like to meet Katie, the fun surprise that caught all of us a bit off guard when we arrived at the ABC studio, and a little glimpse into the VIP treatment of being a guest on a national talk show. So fun!

Reflections on the Entire Friendship Show Segment

But the blog post I really want to write is one I've been waiting nearly two weeks to write!   Since some of what I want to share was about the interviews of others on the Show, I had to wait and let you watch it without any spoilers.  But now that it's aired.... I'm not holding back!  :)

Since my heart is as a teacher, I wanted to point out some great friendship take-away's that came up in the stories of other women on the show.  Here is a list of seven lessons we can learn about friendship just from listening to others share their personal stories.

The other segments included: Katie and her BFF--Wendy Walker -- talking about their friendship since their 20's, the surprise arrival of Larry King to talk about his long ago date with Katie, gal pals and comedians Chelsea Handler and Kathy Najimy, and two women in their eighties (Thelma and Kay) who have been friends for over 75 years.

Seven Friendship Lessons Highlighted on Katie Couric Today:

  1. Everyone needs friends. The Friendship Show opened with a photo montage of celebrity photos, with Katie's voice reminding us that "Even the hottest stars need a shoulder to cry on..." Indeed.  I've witnessed that often it's the women who are the most successful, beautiful, famous, or talented among us are the ones who often are the loneliest.  We all want to belong. (Related blog: There's A Reason They Say It's Lonely at the Top.)
  2. There's value in giving each other a second chance.  One of my favorite lines came from Chelsea Handler when she described the "stink eye" that Kathy gave her when they were being introduced at a Hollywood party.  She was off-put at first, but then said to herself, "Oh yeah, that's probably because she doesn't yet know I'm a good girl." I love that!  I love that even when someone else is intimidated, worried, insecure, judgmental, or whatever else might be getting in their way of showing up with love, that Chelsea didn't take it personally and reminded herself that Kathy doesn't even yet know her, but assumed she would like her once she knew her.  (Related blog: What We Need Are More Women, Fewer Girls)
  3. We need more than 1 Best Friend.  Did you catch the title they gave Wendy Walker, the best friend of Katie Couric?  It said "One of Katie's Best Friends."  I hit this theme a lot in my book that we need more than one BFF. Most of us report being happier and healthier if we feel we have a couple of women in our Committed Circle.
  4. Happiness plays a starring role in our friendships. Chelsea and Kathy certainly have a lot of humor to their friendship, Wendy credits humor to attracting her and Katie to each other, the two older ladies certainly have kept humor as part of their glue with new adventures and "bottles of wine," and the Saturday Night widows kept hitting that theme over and over, saying the word "fun" countless times. While we celebrate friendship with phrases like "crying on each others shoulders," what we really want is someone to add joy to our lives.  I devote the entirety of chapter 7 in my book to the subject of positivity because it's just that important.
  5. Consistency cannot be overrated.  The moment I had the hardest time not interrupting during the show was when Katie asked Thelma and Kay what had kept them together for 74 years and they responded with "We don't really know."  But then did you catch what Thelma said next?  "Well... she comes over once a week... and she's on the top of my prayer list every day."  Oh how I had to restrain myself from not saying "You may not know how it happened, but I do.  It's that gift of regularity that friendships are made of."  (Related blogs: Nothing Kills a Potential Friendship Faster and The Flywheel of Friendship.)
  6. Personality has way less to do with friendship than you think it does. I wanted to jump in and interview the Saturday Night widows after their founder (and author of the book by the same title) Becky Aikman said , "When we first all met I thought it was huge mistake-- we were such a mismatch of personalities." And yet here they are, a group of meaningful friends. Research continues to reveal that we can bond with all kinds of people who we wouldn't normally think we would choose as friends.  As I highlight in chapter 5 of my book "Be open!"  Related blogs: Go Friend-Fishing with a Net, Not a Line! and Do You Have a Friendship Checklist?
  7. Friends from all 5 Circles of Connectedness are important!  I'd venture to guess that Chelsea & Kathy are Left-Side Friends since they're somewhat new to each other, that the Saturday Night Widows are more-or-less Common Friends since they all met to share one specific area in common with each other, that the military woman at the end may have been sitting with her Right-Side friends since they all live nearby, do lots together, and show up to support each other in tangible ways, and that Katie & Wendy are either Committed Friends if they talk regularly or at least Confirmed Friends if they stay-in-touch and can pick-up-where-they-left-off.  I'm only guessing to help show the wide spread of friendships that were highlighted-- each serving a beautiful and valuable purpose. (Related Blogs: How to Find a Best Friend and Frientimacy: The Intimacy of Friends)

Someday I'll be on a show where I actually answer questions, teach healthy friendship, and talk for more than 2 minutes.  But until then, I'll just keep blogging away, teaching workshops, and writing books.  :)

Huge welcome to all my new blog readers who found me today from the Katie Couric show-- I look forward to you meeting other awesome women in this community.